The Positive Side of Rejection
Have you ever wanted something so badly, like a job, a promotion, an admission to a college, a loan approval, or asking someone out on a date, and getting rejected?Our first knee-jerk reaction is to ask, what did I do wrong? Or why does this always happen to me? I assure you, you’re not alone.
As I reflect on my own life, I have had my fair share of rejections that I questioned, assuming it happened because of some sort of character flaw or something I did. But one morning while I was doing my meditation, wondering why a proposal I wrote was rejected, a thought entered my mind: “Is there a positive side of rejection? ”When these words came to me, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe I was looking at rejection the wrong way. Could I reframe my feelings of rejection without judgment so they didn’t affect my mood? Could I use rejection to improve my mental health? If so, how might I do that?
Over the next couple of days I brainstormed and came up with a list of things to stay grounded. They are as follows:
Acknowledge your feelings: Give yourself permission to feel angry, upset, or depressed, without judging yourself or putting yourself down.
Adopt a growth mindset: View rejection as an opportunity to learn, grow, adapt, and cultivate resilience.
Reframe the situation: Instead of personalizing and thinking, “I’m not enough.” Or, “Nothing ever works out for me,” Replace it with, “When one door closes, another one opens.” Or, “This is redirecting me for something better that’s awaiting me.”
Separate self-love from rejection: Remind yourself that rejection is not a reflection of who you are as a person or your self-worth, but just an event.
Be kind to yourself: Rather than beating yourself up, talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend by being positive and uplifting. You might say something like, “I’m proud of you for trying.”
Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your positive qualities, accomplishments, and strengths to build confidence in yourself and keep you moving in the right direction.
Take a break: Engage in activities like walking in nature or taking a yoga class to recharge yourself and promote mental well-being.
Practice mindfulness and meditation: Utilizing these techniques can keep you on track and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed, reduce your stress level, and help you process emotions.
Talk to a friend: By sharing your experience with a friend, you can have a sounding board, get support, and not feel so alone.
Reflect: Think about the experience and consider what was learned from it, and use it as an opportunity to create new opportunities and set new goals.
Seek help: If you feel like you’re unable to move forward and it’s causing you emotional distress, reach out and get help.
After completing the list, I realized there is a positive side to rejection. I didn’t have to compromise my mood or mental well-being any longer. And should I get rejected in the future, I don’t have to respond like I did in the past. I could refer to the list. In doing so, I can create a sense of agency and prevent myself from unnecessary pain and suffering.
The next time you experience rejection, be it by a friend, a coworker, or not getting accepted at the college you had hoped for, prior to becoming angry, upset, or depressed, ask yourself, is there a better way? Yes. See the positive side of rejection. It might make a world of difference. See you next month!
