Summer is coming, and that means one thing: summer parties. Holidays, birthdays, and just having more free time will result in several summer get-togethers. For some people, this is heaven. But for others, social events can cause stress and anxiety.
Socializing is important for building not only social skills but self-esteem and emotional well-being. Despite the challenges, engaging in social activities fosters personal growth and helps you create valuable support networks. If you struggle with social anxiety, read on for some tips on managing your anxiety so you can spend the summer relaxing.
1. Say your concerns out loud – then refute them.
A lot of things that we have anxiety about sound worse in our heads. But if you actually say them out loud, you can challenge your negative thoughts. Here are some examples:
Negative thought: “I’ll embarrass myself if I say something stupid.”
Refutation: “Everyone makes mistakes, and people are too focused on themselves to notice.”
Negative thought: “Everyone will think I’m awkward.”
Refutation: “I’m likable and have qualities that others appreciate.”
Negative thought: “I won’t know anyone there.”
Refutation: “This will be a great opportunity to meet new people.”
Combating negative thoughts can free your mind for more positive thinking. It’ll also help you to be more present and enjoy the moment when you are in social situations.
2. Make plans in advance and get out the door.
Last minute plans can be stressful, but if someone invites you to something, try saying yes. It doesn’t have to be right away – try planning some things a few days or a week ahead of time. Putting something in your calendar will feel more like you’re committing to it, which can motivate you to attend. And planning get-togethers ahead of time will give you more time to mentally prepare for it.
3. Start small.
You don’t have to go to a big summer block party right off the bat. Start with something smaller, like hanging out with a group of a few close friends. Socializing with a small group will feel less overwhelming than a large one, and you’ll be in a safe environment with those you’re closest with. You’ll form good memories around socializing with people you love, which can help you build confidence as bigger events come up.
4. Set a time limit when you go out.
If socializing is stressful for you, but you get serious FOMO when your friends are hanging out, you can go to a get-together without staying the whole time. If you go to a party for just an hour, you’ll have the benefit of seeing friends without feeling like you have to stay the whole time. But just an hour with people you care about will have a great positive impact on your mental health.
5. Do some breathing exercises.
If you find yourself feeling stressed in a social situation, there are many useful breathing techniques that can help you refocus. Different exercises work for different people, and you may have to experiment to find the one that works best for you, but here are a few examples:
4-7-8 breathing: Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, then breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds. This will help to reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety.
Pursed lip breathing: Inhale through your nose for two seconds, then exhale through pursed lips (as if you’re blowing out a candle) for four seconds. This will slow down your breathing, promoting relaxation.
Mindful breathing: Think only about your breathing – focus on each inhale and exhale. If you feel your mind wandering, gently bring your attention back to your breathing. This will help you to live in the present moment.
6. Make time for “me time,” too.
You don’t have to socialize 100% of the time. Having a little bit of time for yourself is also important – it’ll give you time to reflect and recharge. My social battery depletes quickly sometimes, so I take some “me time” every day so my battery can recharge for the next day. Balancing socializing with rest will help you to avoid feeling burned out from social situations while building relationships that will improve your well-being.
With these tools in your toolbox, you’ll be able to combat your social anxiety and enjoy spending time with the people you love all summer long.