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Bay Dreaming– Homeward “Cuse“

Bay Dreaming–Homeward “Cuse“ by Donald Moriarty O’Leary

“A story continues, a third book in the last seven years, with a son’s love, perspective, imagination, spirit, soul, experiences, and adventures/misadventures!”

One detail hit me about a third of the way through Donald O’Leary’s latest installment of his memoirs (the other two BICENTENNIAL ABROAD: A Declaration of Independence, and SON OF A NUN: An East Side to West Side Story both of which I’ve reviewed here in these pages) – “Homeward – Cuse.” This book is, for lack of a better word, conversational. It reads as though I’m having a fun talk with the writer over a drink in a pub. There’s laughter, surprises, thoughtful moments, and descriptions of things as if they’re flying me as he travels on unfamiliar roads. So I thought: what better way to review the book than to have a “conversation” with the author?

Here it is.

Q: Your life as documented in the first two books brings you to the beginning of this one, that picks you up as a young working man whose mom has recently died and who has broken up with a girlfriend. Underneath it all, the theme of wanting of travel is undeniable. What were you hoping to find out there?

A: I was hoping to find many things – adventure, culture, fantastic settings, PEOPLE.

Q: You seem to have just been in the right (or wrong!) place at the right time for many events, like an earthquake in Yosemite (with a new girlfriend) or a surplus of bears in Alaska. Even jumping off a cliff to avoid interaction with them! Did things like that happen everywhere you went?

A: I think risks are part of the adventures, especially traveling to different/new/exotic environments, sometimes solo, sometimes with new acquaintances. (Reviewer’s note: this young man was a master at “chatting up” new people, getting a phone number, or a companion for dinner, drinks, beach time, or a long, even soulful conversation. And often a phone number for future reference!)

Q: Over and over again we find you singing and dancing – on the ferry return trip from Alaska, at a campground, you describe a scene when you attend a Rolling Stones concert, having been up all night the night before partying: “l can only try to enjoy dancing throughout the field, losing and finding my friends, but finding others along the way, closer, and closer to the stage then back again, what a day!” And I made a note: that sounds like the perfect description of you – dancing, music, losing and finding friends, making new ones, moving in close and then back for a wide shot. Is that close?

A: Sums me up it seems…as recently as the Saint Patrick’s Parade Day, during the parade, and later at the Hotel Syracuse. (Reviewer’s note: O’Leary remains an energetic soul who takes advantage of his surroundings and the fun it offers!)

Q: At one point you walk into a rehearsal for a Santana concert – just walk in an unattended door – and hear some music few if any get to hear. This seems to be a part of your story all the way through – you’re always willing to take a risk.

A: I had just come in from San Francisco, via NYC, to Hendrick’s Chapel for my brother’s wedding rehearsal, so checking out Santana rehearsing at Syracuse University’s Carrier Dome fell into place because the wedding was the next day, so I couldn’t go to the actual concert. (Reviewer’s note: the opportunities do sometimes present themselves, but this writer’s experiences are also the product of an individual willing to try “it” and see what happens!)

Q: As much as I’d like to say your life as you’ve recorded it is one big party – with famous names, excitement, adventure, even danger – you write about some serious loss. Your mother who died far too young, and a one-time girlfriend who ends up taking her own life. How much did the losses lead you to a life on the road?

A: The losses were the heaviest of my young adult years: Mom with cancer choking on her last breath in my arms, New Year’s Eve, 1979; Ulla and I broke up just two months before, then she went back to Germany about five months later after trying to get together, but too late. I got a call about a year later, “Ulla ist tot,” “Ulla is dead,” in German, from her sister. OMG, crying just remembering these moments. Love, Heartbreak, Life – Fragile! (Reviewer’s note: there is some deep wisdom in these pages. Life is a challenge, both for the exciting and adventurous, but also for the disappointments and limits it imposes. O’Leary takes them both in stride, after a little Gestalt Therapy when his mother died, and the break up!)

Q: Another theme – partying impromptu with new friends (starts in Alaska and at another point you’re ushering Julia Child and her husband around as they participate in a French Cooking School. A moment later, it seems, you’re buddying up with a truck driver who gives you a lift when you’re hitching. It seems that you can adapt to and even take advantage of whatever – maybe better put WHOever – life puts in your way.

Another time you’re on a cruise ship on your way to Mexico and just happen to fall in with an exotic dancer – and yes, dance with her, and then some!

You strike up conversations, relationships, friendships, party times – with so MANY people as I commented: how do you DO this?

A: As a young kid, teen, young adult, spontaneity was always around the bend. That “fork” in the road (take it!). I was always a “bit” outgoing!

Q: But there does seem to be a downside to being open, friendly, and willing to take a risk.

Because it’s one of your stand-out adventures, I’ll note the poker swindle. Young men are lured into making a fortune playing a poker game that is set up for them to win. Just as they think they’re making a fortune, the “tables turn.” And suddenly they are big losers. They aren’t the swindlers. They are the swindled!

In general, it seems that, at least at the time, American travelers needed to be aware that our general friendliness and trust can get us in trouble?

A: Risks that I should have known better than to have taken, not being a gambler per se (in life, yes, with money, no!), but it seemed more like a LIFE moment at first. From whatever perspective, the beginning, middle, end – the gambling adventure result could have been worst. But we came out of it alive!

Q: At another point I had these two comments: “Sort of Return to Paradise but lighter… (this following the scam).

Another: Success, failure, learning, society.

Do those comments resonate?

A: I appreciated the paradise even more after the swindle/scam. Our new friends, and the families were there to return to. Bad things seem magnified at the moment they happen, but if you learn when/if you survive – oh what a lesson, and a rebound! (Reviewer’s note: the writer reminds us of the many people, from close friends to brief acquaintances, who gave him happiness, hope, laughs, even love, at both the good times and the bad.)

Q: Another thing I noted was your copious and very “of the era” reading – the Bhagavad gita, Carlos Castenada’s “Journey to Ixtlan,” “Shogun,” “The Jungle Book… exploring through reading as well?

A: These were often books I came across thanks to other travelers, ever since 1974, and on this long trip. (Reviewer’s note: once again the writer is open to the idea of exploring and heading down a path the end of which might be a dead end or a splendid view. Either way, in his way of thinking, worth the risk!)

Q: Other themes or recurring notes:

Food: the varied tastes – what was your favorite? Least?

A: Being a pescatarian/vegetarian since 1974, I sometimes was limited, and my very thin body would attest to after a while. I always had enough and always seemed to have “good energy,” both mentally and physically. Fresh fruit juice shakes were my favorite, spicey noodle and rice dishes, along with a side order of ”Shrooms” etc.!

Language: You were studying French and German, among other languages, as you navigated the local language as well…

A: Prepping for an eventual trip to Europe from S.E. Asia, I rekindled some basic French and German from my German and French friends, while dealing with the local language/dialects as well. (Reviewer’s note: there’s nothing like having to communicate in another language that teaches a traveler about the country, and the people, one encounters. There are things that can be said only in that language, and that alone teaches a traveler much about the values and focus of the people who speak it.)

Cost: comparing the cost of a meal in American money – maybe $2.50 US – to one in the local currency – maybe $1500 RUPIAHS!

A: Food costs were all reasonable, but a travel budget and the length of that travel were a consideration, as I had no end date.

Substances (from drinks to “mushrooms!”)

A: It’s true, certain drinks, “mushrooms,” and “smokes” were a part of the “TRIP.”

(Reviewer’s note: And what a “trip” it was! Pick up the book, and go on a few of the adventures yourself!)

You can find O’Leary’s first two books at the Onondaga County Public Library, Hazard Branch, near Tipp Hill.