Cheers to a Beautiful You
As this year comes to a close, I can’t help but reflect on my goals for the New Year. While I am not the kind of person who waits until a new year or a holiday to finally start working toward a goal I may have, the start of a new year allows me to put some things into perspective. To be transparent, my vision board will be filled with goals and aspirations of various kinds, but one of these goals has been on my vision board year after year. 
I have been insecure for as long as I can remember. As a little girl, I compared myself to others. I was always too short, too timid, too ugly, or too weird for my liking. I always felt like the odd one out in every room I entered. Everyone else seemed to find someone who they clicked with, while I just sat, smiled, and nodded. Eventually, that started me down a path of perpetually being left out. I was also bullied often and this just added to my insecurity of never feeling like I was enough.
After years of crying in the mirror and negative self-talk, I realized that I had some work to do. The amalgamation of my low self-esteem and others making me feel less than, made it difficult for me to truly embrace and accept myself. Once I became more comfortable with admitting this to myself, I started to reflect. 
My low self-esteem was causing me to settle and be miserable. I began befriending whoever would accept me. This led to heartbreak and betrayal because their acceptance was not genuine, I was just desperate. I was also miserable because constantly comparing myself to others and crying in the mirror was not the idea of fun. I got tired of this cycle, so I began writing down ways I could improve my self-esteem year by year.
I did not have social media until about three years ago and even without it, my self-esteem was in shambles. My beauty was never beautiful to me at all.
I’m not sure if you can relate to feeling so deflated every single day. The cycle of low self-esteem felt comfortable yet tortuous.
I began writing affirmations on my mirror like, “You are beautiful.” At first, I was not able to look at myself in the mirror and say this, but over time, I built the courage to do so. After the first time I said it to myself, I nearly puked. It felt so forced and cringy; this made me just want to cry again. Practicing this throughout the years though, has made affirming myself easier. Now when I look into the mirror, freshly rolled out of bed with no makeup, I can look at myself and say, “You are so gorgeous.”
Affirming myself has not become a muscle memory yet, but, I know and believe that one day it will. To go after each and everything I desire, I know that my self-love must grow. I have to be my own cheerleader and advocate. I must believe that I am worthy of everything good.
I have learned that just saying this is not enough, I have to believe.
As we start a new year, I want you to know that you are worthy of accomplishing all your goals and that the beauty that you possess inside is invaluable. I found that no fashion trend, expensive coat, or jewelry can make me feel beautiful or replace the value that I have.
Once I started on the journey of recognizing this, the quality of my life greatly improved. I believe that nothing can make us feel more beautiful than the thoughts we think of ourselves. It all starts in the mind. Water your thoughts with affirmation, gratitude, reflection, and love. Soon, you will witness the growth of an abundant garden of self-appreciation and self-love that has begun to bloom inside of you.
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