Coping with Losing a Pet
Loss is part of the human condition, and we will experience it at some point in our lifetime. It might be the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling, relative, child, or friend. But losing a pet can be extremely painful as well. It can feel comparable to the loss of a loved one. It can significantly impact a person’s life, cause sadness and grief, and potentially lead to mental health concerns. Especially for individuals who develop strong bonds with their pet and consider them a member of the family. 
My Sadie, who I referred to as “Pretty girl,” died this past July. Sadie was adopted fourteen years ago from a local animal shelter, and she was the apple of my eye.
The first time I met Sadie, it was love at first sight. She was a six-month-old terrier mix with white fur, brown eyes, and a black patch that covered her left eye. She resembled the RCA dog, known as Nipper, who was the mascot for the Radio Corporation of America for several years.
As we inquired more about Sadie, we discovered she had a history of abuse. Given her injuries, she sustained a brain injury that caused her to wobble when she walked and would prevent her from socializing with other dogs.
As time went by, my bond with Sadie grew stronger. Like her insisting on lying on top of me every night while watching television. Sitting next to me for hours as I plucked weeds from the garden. Consoling her during thunderstorms or on the 4th of July when the sounds of fireworks activated her trauma. And, going for long rides with her brother, Sandwich, to view the fall foliage.
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Time continues to pass, and I recognize Sadie’s decline. She can’t chase after squirrels anymore. She is unable to go for long walks, and she collapses due to arthritis. But I still love her no matter what.
One Sunday afternoon a couple of weeks ago, Sadie alerted me she needed to go potty. I let her out of her bedroom and watched as she trekked up the stairs. Some time had passed, and I realized she hadn’t come back in. Was she okay? No, she was unable to walk. I questioned if she had a stroke, so I contacted the vet, and we were told to take her to Cornell. Would that be wise given her condition?
I spent the remainder of the afternoon applying cold towels on her body and telling her how much I loved her. Sadie passed peacefully in her bed with the utmost love and care.
Grieving is an individualized experience; it can vary from person to person. While navigating through the stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, some individuals might need to process one stage longer than another. While others might oscillate during different stages at once. It’s okay. The important thing to remember is that we all respond to loss differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It should not be forced or hurried. It should not be put on a timeline. Allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve.
Death of a pet can also cause emotional and psychological effects such as sadness, loneliness, anger, insomnia, guilt, isolation, changes in appetite, anxiety, and depression. Some individuals may experience complicated grief, which is marked by intense periods of sadness whereby they continuously think of their pet and have difficulties moving on. If you find the loss of your pet is interfering with your daily activities and is affecting your ability to cope, get help. Here are some additional strategies to deal with pet loss:
1. Create a Memorial: Find a spot in your backyard to create a memorial garden for your pet. You can put pictures of your pet throughout your home, too. Or, have a professional portrait done of your pet and hang it on the wall. Create a photo album with your pet’s pictures in it. You can also make Christmas ornaments with pictures of your pet and hang them on your tree. Or, have a memorial service paying tribute to your pet’s life.
2. Give Yourself Room to Grieve: Give yourself permission to cry and express your feelings. Don’t feel the need to suppress your emotions during your grieving period. Journaling might be beneficial in processing painful emotions as well.
3. Reach out: If you’re feeling particularly sad on a given day, reach out to a friend or a family member. You might also consider joining a support group with other individuals who have lost a pet for support.
4. Engage in Self-Care: Maintaining daily routines such as work, sleep, eating, and exercising can become disrupted when grieving; it’s understandable. Try to employ self-care when you can.
Coping with losing a pet doesn’t happen overnight, but over time. Give yourself the space to grieve. I am. See you next month!
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