New Year, New You
The new year is upon us, and many of us will be setting one or more New Year’s resolutions. It’s the perfect time to start an exercise program, get fit, eat healthier, or do some home improvement projects that you’ve been putting off. Or, losing the last ten pounds you’ve always wanted. Sadly enough, some of these well-intentioned goals go unmet. Did you ever consider why this happens? What saboteurs might be lurking beneath the surface preventing you from achieving your goals and becoming the best version of yourself?
Some of the more common saboteurs that undermine New Year’s resolutions are negative thoughts, a critical inner voice creating self-doubt, feeling powerless, and anticipatory anxiety. But could there be other psychological factors at play that you haven’t considered?
Shame is an insidious emotion that burrows deep into the subconscious mind, always looking for the perfect opportunity to strike. So let’s say an individual becomes excited about setting goals for the new year and comes out the gates with an all-or-nothing mindset like, “I’m going to start a fitness program, eat clean, and lose ten pounds,”but their good intentions fail the first day because the alarm clock doesn’t go off, and they aren’t able to exercise before work. Suddenly, their shame emerges. It lambasts them. It makes them feel bad, like a complete failure. It can drain confidence. It causes a person to get discouraged to the point they give up prematurely and never attain their goals.
Fear is yet another culprit that can sabotage New Year’s resolutions. It might sound something like this…“What if I try a yoga class and I make a fool of myself?” Or, “What if I can’t stick to my goals, then what?” These fears can prevent you from following through on your resolutions and making positive changes in your life.
Depression can cause negative thinking and feelings of failure. It can also prevent you from believing in yourself, taking action, or concentrating. So what happens if you have a setback and you’re unable to stay on track? This could fuel more negativity and cause you to want to give up and throw in the towel.
So what are some strategies that can be employed to prevent shame, fear, and depression from getting in the way of attaining your goals for the new year?
When countering the effects of shame, start with small, incremental changes and don’t strive for perfection. Practice self-compassion by building yourself up and being kind to yourself. Set realistic goals so as not to set yourself up for failure. Finally, stay in the present; don’t fixate on past failures or anticipate what might go wrong in the future.
When it comes to combating fear, set specific, realistic goals. For instance, “I am going to spend two hours each week working on my home improvement project.” Allotting a small amount of time each week to work on your goals reduces anticipatory anxiety, preventing you from becoming overwhelmed, which could sabotage your efforts.
Set practical goals so as not to thwart your good intentions. For example, I will exercise for thirty minutes two to three times a week. Reframe feelings of failure and negative thinking by reminding yourself there will always be setbacks. Make it a point to learn from your mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow. Finally, focus on the things that you can control, like how you respond to certain situations. Learn to let go of things that are beyond your control.
Being aware of the saboteurs that can prevent you from attaining your New Year’s resolutions can help you stay focused and implement positive changes throughout the year.
Just remember, new year, new you!
See you next month.
