The Power of Gratitude
I talk a lot in my daily life about positivity. As someone who has struggled with my own mental health, I’ve learned many strategies to help reframe negative thoughts and focus on the good things in life. If you’ve ever struggled to find the silver lining, practicing gratitude in your everyday life can help you to do that.
There’s an important distinction between gratitude and what is known as toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is a way of forcing yourself to only think about the good while holding in all the bad. That’s not the right way to go about it. If you’ve read my column before, you know that I advocate for “feeling the feelings,” or allowing your negative feelings to occur. Positivity and gratitude aren’t about ignoring or silencing negative thoughts and feelings; they’re about reframing those feelings and refocusing your thinking.
Gratitude is noticing and appreciating the good things in life. Feeling and expressing gratitude has a lot of benefits for mental health – here are a few:
1. Seeing the Good Even in a Bad Experience
I pride myself in my ability to reframe my thinking during negative experiences. In 2020, I struggled with an eating disorder that took me out of my sport and took months of difficult work to come back from. By the end of the experience, I reflected that if I hadn’t been in a position where I had to open up about my mental health, I wouldn’t have become a mental health advocate. Not every example is that drastic – if I have a bad day, I can always find something good that happened in it. And you can do that, too. Practicing gratitude can help you to recognize the good parts of a bad experience and refocus your attention.
2. Increasing Your Self-Esteem
Gratitude doesn’t only have to be in response to things happening around us (for example, if something good happens to you). You can also acknowledge the good things you see in yourself. For example, I’m a very motivated and resilient person, and those are traits I appreciate about myself. When I recognize those positive traits that I possess, I feel a heightened sense of self-worth. If you have a trait that you like about yourself, intentionally acknowledging it will make your perception of yourself more positive.
3. Becoming Part of Who You Are
If you make expressing your gratitude a regular habit, then it will go from being a “state” – a one-time thing – to a “trait,” or part of your personality. If you practice gratitude day in and day out, it will actually make you a more positive person overall. Then, when something negative happens, you’ll be able to instinctually acknowledge the positive.
Here are some ways you can incorporate gratitude into your everyday life. Not everything works for everyone, so I’d recommend that you try a couple things and then find the thing that works best for you.
1. Gratitude Journaling
There are a lot of ways to go about gratitude journaling, but the general gist is that you write down things that you’re grateful for. The most popular way to do it is the “three good things” exercise. Every night, write down three things that went well that day and reflect on why they went well. It helps to prevent your mind from racing before you go to bed, improving your sleep. And recognizing why something went well can help you to build good habits.
2. Writing a “Thank You” Letter to Someone You’re Grateful For
Whereas journaling is more of a solitary exercise, writing a gratitude letter is a great way to show your appreciation to other people in your life. It’s like a thank-you note, but a little bit longer. Just write a letter to someone in your life sharing your appreciation for something (or multiple things) that they’ve done for you – then share it with them. The great thing about this exercise is that it allows you to acknowledge someone who you’re grateful for, and as an added bonus you can make them feel valued and appreciated.
3. Using Visual Reminders
Gratitude doesn’t have to be a long sit-down exercise; it can show up in little ways throughout your day. This could include putting up photos of people or places you love around your house or office, or sticky notes that have words or phrases to remind you to be grateful. When you see them, you’ll be reminded to appreciate the things in your life that make you happy.
4. Celebrating Your Victories, Big and Small
I encourage you to celebrate your big achievements, like a job promotion or reaching a milestone you’ve been working toward. But you can also celebrate the small wins, like finishing a task that you’ve been putting off or even making your bed in the morning. Rather than only focusing on the outcome, showing gratitude for smaller achievements along the way makes you appreciate and enjoy the process more.
The most important thing to remember about gratitude is that you won’t become a more grateful person by only practicing it once. It’s important to make it a part of your routine so you can experience the benefits for your well-being. It doesn’t have to be a daily exercise – even once or twice a week is enough. If you express gratitude often, it’ll help you to become a more positive person and focus on the good things in life.
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